By Dennis O’Grady, Psy.D.
Accepting Political Friends
Angry facebooking: The enemy of friendship is belittling criticism, cynicism, and contempt. Zingers: No one can make you angry without your consent.
How to Temper Your Temper
The solution: Small acts of deliberate kindness! This will repair the damage done to your friendship bridges of respectful trust and closeness. Stop one-upping and debating before you lose a friend.
Spreading Anger Manure Around Is A Choice
When you sling manure around, you lose ground and don’t smell so good. Hateful words and anger is the enemy, not your friend.
“You’re important to me!”
What to say to ease strained relations with a friend? Some deep, honest and caring mood attitudes to send to a friend to get out of a rut beginning by using their first name:
- I hope and pray from now on to leave you feeling better off as a result of knowing me.
- I’ve decided and vowto stop shoving my viewpoints down your throat.
- I fearthat I’ve hurt our relationship by trashing your cherished beliefs.
- I’m truly sorrythat I overreacted and behaved inappropriately.
- I will make sureyou know that I am interested in and appreciative of you.
- Is there anything I can doto make things better for you?
- I need youto know that I trust, respect and care for you.
The Math of Mad: You must send five positives to one negative to get out of a rut—starting now.
Hope is here: You have the discipline to disagree without being disagreeable through kindness to others and yourself when upset, mad or defensive.
Kindness Is the Key
The solution to any conflict-causing upset is you. Be the first one to demonstrate small acts of deliberate kindness—and to keep it up when no response is forthcoming. Are you behaving as your best self and leaving people feeling better off as a result of knowing you?
Temper Your Temper Temperature:
This discipline of love and acceptance requires:
- You must accept that you are co-responsible for the mood and tone in your friendship home.
- You must be the one to stop slinging manure around simply because you’re all swept up during an anger spree.
- You must deliberately make small gestures of goodwill.
- You must send five positives to one negative to get out of a rut—starting now.
- You must change something about yourself instead of trying to change everyone else or the world.
Pals, Communications and Politics
You get to choose pal or politics. Choose wisely. Choose now to use positive and collaborative communication tools by deliberately making small acts of kindness be the friendship norm.